June 15th. How long ago was that? A few weeks ago? It feels longer. So, so much longer.
I've found a home. Well...not exactly. But I'm no longer wandering. After my battery completely failed on my laptop, I thought I was going to go crazy. I felt alone amongst these millions of people. Not a single person to cling to, no one to understand, sympathize. No one to talk to. I was on the verge of exploding from the sheer volume of words.
I'm so grateful of Ray. That she took me in without question...it's made me happier than I could have thought possible since I arrived here. For the first time I felt as though I might actually be able to survive here. Even though I know I must leave soon.
Ray's one of the few people I met in my many internet travels. I've never actually met her before, but we've talked quite a bit on various forums and chatrooms. She doesn't know anything about Slenderman, besides what I told her a long time ago, when I too was first learning of Him. Compared to what I've been through these last few months, her life seems perfect.
I miss my family dearly. I never thought I would. Perhaps the mouse wasn't ready to leave her hole just yet.
Lorraine's body was found in the woods last Sunday. There's nothing much I can say about that. I regret not being able to attend her funeral....but if she had her way, she would forgive me for not being there. She would have said I needn't be burdened by her....
I've started dreaming again; they're not the same dreams I had before. They're clearer, and more realistic. He hasn't appeared in any of them. I think they're dreams of what I'm missing. I had a bad one near the beginning of my trip here: my mother coming down the stairs, seeing the note, breaking down in sobs and screaming to the heavens...I'm not sure what to say about it. I know she misses me, but I can't go back. Not yet. Not if I want them to stay safe and happy.
They're at the beach now, if my newest dream is correct. Everyone's gone with them: my grandmother, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, my brother and his friend, my mother. My father is there too. He vowed never to speak to my mother's family after they divorced. In a sick way, it's almost as though my absence has brought everyone together. My mother still looks...I can't describe it.
Ray's brought lunch. Until next time.