F'htagn

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

FUCK IT. JUST FUCK IT ALL.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IT ALL

I'M SICK OF IT

SICK OF EVERYTHING.

JUST TAKE ME THE FUCK NOW AND TEAR ME UP YOURSELF IF THAT'S WHAT YOU AIM FOR.

I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. NONE OF IT.

I MUST WORK. I MUST WORK. I MUST WORK. THAT'S ALL I CAN DO. IT'S ALL I KNOW HOW TO DO ANYMORE.

AND WHEN I'M NOT WORKING I'M ALONE. WHO HAVE I TO SEEK SOLACE IN? THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY OWN SOLITUDE EATS ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT. LIKE MAGGOTS.

AT LEAST MAGGOTS DON'T SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIVES SQUIRMING IN FILTH. THEY GROW WINGS. THEY FLY. WHO CARES HOW LONG THEY LIVE. THEY GET THEIR FREEDOM.

AM I WORSE THAN A FLY!? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO TURN ME INTO? I ENVISION MYSELF AS LESS THAN AN INSECT!? I SUPPOSE IN YOUR EYES, YOU ALMIGHTY CREATURE OF HELL, MORTALS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN INSECTS TO BE STOMPED. THOUGH IF THAT WERE TRULY THE CASE WE WOULDN'T BE WORTH THE TIME AND EFFORT YOU PUT IN TO EXTERMINATE US. TO TORTURE US WITHIN AN INCH OF OUR LIVES AND EVEN THEN NOT BEING MERCIFUL ENOUGH TO JUST FUCKING END IT. YOU LET US EAT OURSELVES.

YOU SEEM TO HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OVER US. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A FUCKING PURPOSE! YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU BE THE ONE TO TELL ME HOW MUCH FUCKING TIME I'M WASTING SLAVING AWAY OVER NOTHING WITHOUT ANY END GOAL!

THIS IS ALL PART OF YOUR FUCKING PLAN, THOUGH. SO I KNOW YOU WON'T.

I FUCKING HATE YOU. YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FUCKING WORKER BEES. WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN LATELY ANYWAY? THIS GAME ALREADY TOO BORING FOR THEM? OR IS GIVING UP ON ME PART OF THE GAME? LEAVE ME ALONE ALL OVER AGAIN, WHY DON'T YOU.

FUCK YOU.





ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU SEEM TO BE A SMART GUY. HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SARTRE?

5 comments:

  1. Woke up this morning and read this. I was perfectly conscious when I wrote it...I just wasn't thinking straight.

    I thought venting would help. It hasn't. In fact, it's gotten worse.

    He's mad.

    Really really mad.

    I can feel it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heh, venting does help you personally. I did much the same.

    A part of me wants to ask you if you "miss" him or not.

    Either way, if you're not running, I reccommend running. Getting somewhere you can find others.

    Heh. I'm bouncing your "Don't be alone" advice back to you.

    Stay safe.

    ~Lucas

    ReplyDelete
  3. After this, I think I might have to. It hadn't felt safe at all, but now everything around me feels too oppressive.

    I do not "miss" Him. I suppose...it's like being in the middle of the ocean and knowing there's a shark somewhere beneath you, but not knowing where. At least when He's out in the open I can pinpoint my fear and run.

    He really does enjoy playing with His food, doesn't he.


    I appreciate the rebound-advice. Just the fact that someone's talking to me makes me feel a million times better. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Playing with his food is probably the best phrase to describe it. He does like to break people before using them...

    And it's not a problem, give me an email sometime, it's on my profile.

    ~Lucas

    ReplyDelete
  5. M knows what he's talking about. He's one of the few people I don't doubt.

    Although if he knows so much, I need get out of here, and soon. I don't have much time left.

    ReplyDelete