Sorry about the minor freak-out I had in the last post. I'm not really sure what came over me. Having a bad morning, probably. I still haven't been getting much sleep, and it seems my mother's begun to notice. She's threatening to take my laptop away if I don't go to bed when I'm supposed to. She thinks that's all I do when I get home, chat with friends online. She doesn't realize how time-consuming all this IB homework is. She also doesn't seem to understand that I have no friends. Well, not compared to the friends she has, or the friends my brother has. All of my closest friends left after middle school ended and went to different high schools as me; some of them don't even talk to me anymore because they think their school is better than mine. Granted, it is. If only the 20- IB students in my school could be transported somewhere nicer than that inner-city dumping ground. All my other "friends" aren't very close; I don't see them outside of school, we don't hang out. I really only have one friend I can really call a friend.
Lately I've been really worried about her. She's had....problems for a long time--as long as I've known her, in fact. I can't really talk about it. She's been going to counseling for a while and it seemed she had finally gotten better. This last week, though, has made me reconsider. As little sleep as I've been getting, she's gotten even less; she's even told me she went an entire night without sleeping. She doesn't look like she's been eating lately, either. She's constantly gazing out the window. No one seems to notice. She gets her work done and her grades are on par with, if not better than, mine. But since the beginning of middle school when I first met her she was the only person who ever really "gets" me. That, or she just politely listens to all my insane ramblings and cynical points of view and my weird philosophical questions that can't seem to be answered by anyone and has never complained. Regardless, she's always kinda been there for me, and I really admire her for putting up with my bullshit for so many years.
If this keeps going I might go back to the adjustment counselor for a talk. I dont' want anything to happen.
My own counseling kind-of fell through. She never called my mother. I'm keeping up with the stress-relief exercises, but they're not doing much. Maybe if I just do what I'm supposed to everything will be okay.