Not in much of a mood to update, but then again, when am I? I've barely a cheery post on this thing. I only seem to want to post when I'm bored out of my skull or emotionally unstable. Whenever I want to bitch about something or decry the unfairness of the world and hell why can't it just be the way I want it all the time and never change. Fat lazy elitist overemotional teenage bitch that I am.
Spring break. Nothing to do. Getting dragged around by my parents left and right. I haven't seen any of my friends since I left school on Friday (excepting the tennis match yesterday, but that doesn't really count, we were all so busy getting ready for the matches; my mom took me home immediately afterward too, so I never got a chance to talk to anyone). Thank god the counselor planned that trip for Thursday, otherwise I don't know what I would do. We're going to be going hiking along this trail a few towns north of here. It's amazing. Seventeen miles; and though we won't be going the whole way, we'll at least be going more than the quarter-mile my parents can tolerate. Maybe someday I'll walk the entire thing. That would be amazing. The counselor's also planning to pack a picnic lunch to have somewhere along the way. Tennis match at three, then we're going out for pizza for dinner, then to a poetry slam later that night. This is all going to be in one day, too. Not since convention have I been so excited to get the fuck away from my family.
I would never tell them, oh god no, but....I feel like they're part of the reason why I feel so grounded. I'm constantly dreaming up places I want to go, things I want to do; but money or personal issues always get in the way. Everything I want to do, it has to be with my family. They hold me down. I need to be out, be free. I'm not going to spend my whole life holed up in the house. I'm not going to be a doctor or a mathematician or a physicist or, god forbid, a philosopher. No more Sartre or Kant or Nietzsche once I'm grown, oh no. I'm going places. I'm going to see the world. And I will not let them stop me. I'd like to see them fucking try.